It’s funny how SOME men seem to think that it’s a secret, and by telling us gals that guys want to fuck, they are really schooling us on what’s up. My father was the first human of the male persuasion to let me in on this oh so well kept secret. Guys just want to fuck me. Ok.. So fine. Geez. Guys must have other things they want in addition to fucking me, or Every Any Girl. There are probably men who actually HAVE fucked every girl already. Talk to them, see what they want.
As a woman, I often prefer to keep things in the realm of fantasy, which needn’t be elaborate or involved. I’m sure, I think at some point, upon being in anyone’s presence…..I often wonder about people’s sexual nature. Like, what is it that they enjoy about sex? Or not.
I know that making out with one person is very different than making out with two or more. I personally don’t feel any pressure to act upon a passing curiousity, but I will definitely think about it later if it seems interesting. Mostly, if I find myself engaged sexually with another human, I want to make them feel good. I want them to experience pleasure, but not just at the physical level. I want any partner to have fun.
Having fun isn’t always easy, there is a lot of potential awkwardness to contend with, whether unexpected or certain, awkwardness is, and should always be part of any fun, including sexual fun.
I hope that people who identify as asexual continue to explore their sexuality in whatever way they wish, but don’t ever simply assume they are what they are. We should be careful about taking on labels based on our sexuality, which is fluid and not at all attached to us permanently.
Whatever your sexual identity, persona, flavor, it is a thing to be explored. At the very least, it’s your job to at least explore aspects of your being. Sexuality is but one aspect to be explored. I say explored as though there is a stopping point. There is not. One should hesitate, and find something else to say if ever one has the thought that they have explored anything. We are exploring. Continually.
In addition to wanting my sexual partner to have fun and experience all that fun suggests, I want them to remember me. When I pull up an image of myself wanting to be remembered there are several possibilities.
I could manifest a needy persona and demand a person’s time and attention to the extent that they never have an opportunity to forget about me. But that seems obnoxious and not something I would ever do. Or is it? Have I ever been at all like that? Yes, probably. But let’s not pretend a passing thought is a memory, right?
Let’s just understand the place we were at the time, what led us to need, to act in such a way, and if we don’t like it, then do whatever needs to be done to ensure those conditions are not our reality moving forward.
In my case, I just don’t have the kind of time required to continually demand anyone else’s attention. Actually, I have it, I just don’t want to share that much of my time. I want to be remembered and I want to achieve that end as quickly as possible.
I’ll never be able to collect accurate data on who still remembers me and why, nor would I want to spend my time doing so. Since this isn’t a goal I can measure, It’s enough to reflect on this part of myself that wants to be remembered, and positively remembered, earthshakingly if possible.
I don’t like to admit that this part of me is there, because I view this part of me as needy and attention seeking, and most of all, bound to get hurt. While I don’t cling to her, she should be acknowledged. In fact, if I don’t acknowledge her, she will continuously demand my attention, and probably passive aggressively. But if I let her know that I see her and understand and will remember her, she will quiet down and relax a bit. And that’s a very good thing because I have to live with her.
Now we can have some fun!!
I’ve decided that, whatever guys actually want besides, or in addition to sex, I’m going to give them colorful pants. Because that is what I want them to have. One thing, anyway.
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