Dirty Solitude
[Invocation]
Give me dirty solitude.
No complimentary robe.
No woman in beige
learning the ancient wisdom of owning a ceramic bowl.
Give me yesterday’s cup,
A little stale air.
rain fingering the loose screen at the window,
A glass going warm in my hand,
and nothing in here
trying to improve me.
[Chorus]
Dirty solitude, come sit with me.
Bring your ashtray crown, your busted teeth.
Let the clean world sell its scented cure.
I need the kind that leaves a mark for sure.
A room where nobody reaches through,
where I can come apart without it being meaningful.
Dirty solitude.
[Verse 2]
There are flowers for women like me,
but they grow rude and territorial.
Sunflowers wearing their colors like a threat,
turning their faces toward the neighbors,
all pollen and jurisdiction, guarding the fence
I planted them sideways.
I loved them straight away.
I have been touched wrong by too many expectations.
I have smiled until my jaw became a locked drawer.
Tonight, I want no witness
but the dust performing ballet
in the television light.
[Chorus]
Dirty solitude, come sit with me.
Bring your ashtray crown, your busted teeth.
Let the clean world sell its scented cure.
I need the kind that leaves a mark for sure.
A room where nobody reaches through,
where I can come apart without it being meaningful.
Dirty solitude.
[Bridge]
Do not bring me enlightenment
unless it knows how to swear.
Do not bring me peace
unless it has slept on the floor.
I want the sacred with chipped polish,
the gospel according to unpaid bills,
the minor god of one more cigarette,
the bathtub oracle,
the kitchen-floor parliament,
the wineglass turning democratic
with every pour.
voting for one more hour of being ugly
and true.
[Final Chorus]
Dirty solitude, come sit with me.
Unbutton the dark, let the room breathe.
Let the clean world keep its polished door.
I have kissed the floor and wanted more.
A place where nobody names my bruise,
and I can fall apart without it being meaningful
Dirty solitude.
[Outro]
Dirty solitude.